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Foreword

So you may be wondering, what do I believe — as a "parenting expert," as a woman who talks to thousands of other women a month, and as the mother of two girls ages 5 and 8? I am a big believer in letting kids be kids. I believe in tiaras made out of construction paper and glitter, dirty hands, grass stains, playing "house" with dolls and everything else that lets girls have good old-fashioned playtime. Sure, there needs to be time for homework and maybe music or sports practice but I believe a child's schedule should not require Microsoft Outlook. When they're overscheduled, they're over-stimulated and even overexposed ... and that usually means that imaginative play is sacrificed. Independent, unstructured playtime is essential in a child's day and a great way for kids to build confidence in themselves. It is part of letting a girl not just be a girl — but rejoice in being a girl. Moms, it's okay to say no to toys you don't like or that you think are inappropriate! And it's okay for your kids to raid their old toy chests for a favorite toy of years past. Sometimes older children tease younger siblings about being "babies" if they have favorite toys or treasure imaginative role-playing. Part of being a good mom is protecting and preserving your kids' innocent, imaginative minds and celebrating playtime as you and I knew it when we were younger. I hope you enjoy the below piece I wrote ("Where Has Childhood Gone") ... and please join me in the "play more" movement.

Reprinted with permission from Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Company

Where Has Childhood Gone?

By Leslie Morgan Steiner

Last night around 7 p.m., on my way to book club, I drove through the neighborhood I grew up in. It was a lovely spring evening. Clean streets, trees with green buds, pretty cottage-style homes.

Zero kids.

When I was a girl growing up there 30 years ago, the first warm, spring night meant one thing: Every kid from every house was out, playing in the street and on the sidewalks. Freeze tag, bikes, kick the can, hide-and-seek.

I know where all the kids were. Same place as mine. Soccer practice. Piano lessons. Tutoring. Or in lock-down because the neighborhood was experiencing a wave of bombings, drive-by shootings and child abductions (not).

Once at book club, one mom insisted that all the neighborhood kids needed to be inside because our world has become very dangerous. That schools forbid kids from walking or biking to or from school. That kids' nonstop extracurricular activities are essential for them to thrive in our highly competitive world. I protested that our particular world — for instance, my old neighborhood — has not gotten any more dangerous or competitive in the past 30 years. Several of the moms argued that our world — let me note that it is a largely white, largely middle class East Coast milieu — is a far riskier, threatening place than it was in 1975.

Our world is very different — because we've made it different. Today's parents have changed how we parent. If a majority of parents refuse to let their kids play outside their house, or go to a local park, or walk to school by themselves, then no kids can. Because one kid alone on the sidewalk or at the park is vulnerable (not to mention bored).

Can we agree that American parents — especially middle- and upper middle-class parents — have gone collectively crazy? Almost everyone today, myself included, falls into the "extreme parenting" category.

But what I cannot figure out is WHY. Exactly when, and how, did American parents become completely obsessed with making our children's childhoods perfect?

Did you believe you'd be different? That your kids would have zero afterschool activities besides "go out and play until dinnertime?" What purpose does it serve — kids or parents — to micromanage our kids' supposedly most carefree days? What has happened to just letting kids play? And when — if ever — will the pendulum swing back?

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additional resources

There are many organizations around the world to help support parents of growing girls. These organizations include:

parenting

Sites devoted to the topics and issues of parenting. Advice, tips, information and more.

iVillage/parenting

Parents magazine

Child magazine

research and nonprofit

Some of the latest research and discussion around issues affecting girls, from academic, nonprofit and scientific organizations.

Girls, Women + Media Project

Advocates for Youth

National Youth Development Information Center

* Additional resources are provided for information only. The views and opinions reflected in the materials of the above entities do not necessarily reflect those of Mattel, Inc.